Short Term Energy Relieving Behaviors (STERBs) are behaviors we turn to for short-term relief from the pain of the emotional energy produced by unresolved grief.
It is normal and natural for our bodies to respond to the pent-up emotional energy resulting from grieving situations by wanting to relieve or reduce that energy. Our bodies find ways of doing things that work - short term. Things like food, alcohol, smoking, risk-taking, sleep, drugs (prescription or recreational), exercise, shopping, and many others, do cause the energy to dissipate, and we feel better - short term.
After a short while, the effect wears off, and we are filled with that emotional energy again. We can learn to use these behaviors/substances in greater quantities and more often until they become habits or addictions. These behaviors become our default mechanisms for dealing with grief. In the GRM, we guide our participants to replace their STERBs with new tools that will offer long-term relief.
Additionally, we often learn these behaviors from others in our families or communities, so they become generational STERBS too, making them even more challenging to give up or replace. (See also Emotional Energy)